Let It Shake It Off

Shake it off and let it go.

It's funny that the two biggest pop songs of the past year had titles that mean basically the same thing. And if I had a nickel for every time I heard either one of them . . .

It’s also amazing how often I’ve found myself using those same phrases in conversations with friends lately . . . only to laugh that they are, indeed, straight out of pop tunes that have lit up every teenager’s iPod the last twelve months.

Too many of my friends are carrying around too much that they need to be turning loose. Letting go. Shaking off. It’s a common problem among moms, but not just parents. Many folks with compassionate hearts tend to hold onto other people’s problems as their own. We find out that someone we love is going through a difficult time or facing an awful challenge, so we internalize that problem and begin to carry it inside until it becomes our burden too.

Loving them does not mean owning their problems.

We see this problem or challenge as something we need to solve. We worry about what will happen in the lives of our friends and family members, and we own their issues as if they were our own obstacles to overcome. We create internal lists of our many difficulties and add stress to our life as we see all of these problems as our own.

We know how to pray for each other, so that’s not the problem. Many of us are wonderful “prayer warriors” and spend many hours lifting up other people’s lives to our loving heavenly Father. Part of the problem is that when we get up from our knees (physically or virtually), we reach down and pick the problem back up. It’s as if we’re saying, “Thanks for listening, God. Now I think I can really handle this better. I’ll let you know how things turn out.”

But a bigger problem is that these are not our problems in the first place . . . they’re other people’s problems. That doesn’t diminish the reality of each situation, but we should not be considering them our own issues.

A great book came out years ago called Boundaries by Drs. Cloud and Townsend. (I highly recommend this book for everyone!) It is very important to establish personal boundaries and only own those problems that are your own.

One of the biggest reasons to stop owning other people’s problems as your own—even your children’s and your spouse’s and your parents’—is that God does not give us grace for other people’s problems . . . only as they directly relate to being our own responsibility. In other words, if God has called you to counsel, guide, support, or have some other role with another person, God will give you the grace and wisdom for that purpose. But God will not give you the grace to worry about the problem; fear and anxiety will only exhaust you.

Matthew 6:26 says, "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" Can you imagine if a cardinal started worrying about what a blue jay was going to eat? What if a woodpecker started putting away seed for the nuthatch? Do you see how absurd that would get . . . quickly?

So shake it off.

Prayers gonna pray, pray, pray.

Learning to Follow

My bed is seldom made up. I resist getting up early, setting most of my appointments for early afternoon if possible. Exercise and I have a love-hate relationship; I love the results but hate to sweat. Only on rare occasions do I see the bottom of the laundry basket or totally empty sinks. I'm a musician at heart and a bookworm at brain and unless it pertains to music or reading, it tends to go untended. 

In other words, I'm not what you might call "disciplined." At least, not in every area of my life. At least, not until you get down to the real meaning of the word.

The word discipline shares its origins with the word disciple. That root word is about learning. Jesus called his disciples to come learn who he was, to understand his teachings, to follow him. Jesus' disciples learned him.

What happened after Jesus called his disciples? Actually, he originally called the first 12 apostles, the leaders who were with him constantly, but gradually more disciples began to gather around and follow him. So did he set up a school? Did they all start going to class to sit around and discuss the scriptures from Jesus' point of view? That might have been a wonderful use of their time...is that how Jesus chose to discipline them?

Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.” (Matthew 9:35-38)

Of course Jesus spent time teaching his disciples (see the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5-7) and letting them know what his "work" looked like. But he knew the learning took place out among the crowds, working the "harvest." Jesus saw people who were harassed and helpless. He called his disciples out into the field to work with him.


If we are Jesus' disciples, we are learning to follow him daily. Our discipline isn't about following rules or being "better" Christians; it's about making ways in our lives to learn better how to work in the fields. And remember that when God disciplines us, that's not about punishment...that's about his teaching us:

Blessed is the one you discipline, Lord,
    the one you teach from your law; 
you grant them relief from days of trouble,
    till a pit is dug for the wicked. 
For the Lord will not reject his people;
    he will never forsake his inheritance. 
Judgment will again be founded on righteousness,    and all the upright in heart will follow it.  
(Psalm 94:12-15, emphasis added)

So how will Jesus disciple you today?