I Want a Horse

When I was eight years old, I wanted a horse. Not a pony…a horse. And I wasn’t asking Santa Claus…I was asking my dad. Daily.

I did my homework. I looked in the newspaper and found ads for stable rentals. I figured up what it would cost annually to care for a horse (based on my own rough estimates). And then I found local listings for horses in a price range that seemed reasonable to me. Then I made my case.

I wanted a horse. And I saw no reason why we shouldn’t get one. It made perfect sense to me. An eight-year-old.

My dad responded with his typical loving patience. “We don’t need a horse.” “We’re not going to get a horse right now.” “We can’t really afford a horse, Lynn.” “Yes, I see that you’ve worked it all out, but we don’t need to get a horse. We need a new mower.”

Eventually I let it go.

And then I got a bike! It was SO much better than a horse! I zipped around the neighborhood every afternoon with my friend Clark and we had a blast racing with our banana-seats and out-there handlebars. My dad knew better after all.

“Do not be hasty in word or impulsive in thought to bring up a matter in the presence of God. For God is in heaven and you are on the earth; therefore let your words be few.” (Ecclesiastes 5:2 NAS)

“Wow, Lynn, you’re brilliant! I’ll never worry about anything again! I’ll just know that God’s gonna give me a bike and everything’s gonna turn out great!”

Ummm…no.

I know it’s not that simple.  Life is still hard. And we are supposed to be honest and open before God with the concerns and passions of our hearts.

But remember…he’s in heaven and you’re not. He sees the bigger picture and you can’t. When bad things happen or you see the bad things around you, bring those things before God and then trust him. Believe that he sees these things in their context.

Remember that death is not defeat. In Christ, death is passage. We often pray that death will be postponed, but when God does not intervene, that death is not denial. It is loss for us…and often it is heartbreaking loss…but it is not a negative response to our requests. It is a fulfillment of God’s promise of life everlasting.

So when you pray…when you come before God in the quiet of your own home…and you feel stumped at just what to say about all of the things that are on your heart, just start with, “My Father, the one who sits in heaven and sees everything in its greater context, holy is your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven…”

The rest will just fall into place. After all, he knows better.

A Cord of Three Strands

So I again considered all the oppression that continually occurs on earth.This is what I saw:
The oppressed were in tears, but no one was comforting them;
no one delivers them from the power of their oppressors. (Ecclesiastes 4:1 NET)

This sounds like something my mother would say. She’s always had a heart for the oppressed, an ongoing awareness of the many groups of people around the globe who suffer at the hands of other people or circumstances that bind and confound their existence. She’s not one of those people who whines all the time and then sits around doing nothing. No, my mother has always empathized with the pain of those in bondage and looked for ways to change situations and circumstances. And very often she does it…partnered with a husband who shares her worldview and her passion for justice.

As I write this, my parents are now halfway through a two-week visit to Sierra Leone to connect the people with whom they have been working for the past five years with some new partners to continue the effort. It occurred to me this morning that they have hit the halfway point so I know they feel they are in countdown mode to complete the tasks to be accomplished in this visit. (Translated: My mother’s probably going nuts!)

Then it also occurred to me that fifty years ago this month our family was halfway through a two-year assignment to Zambia as missionaries. Actually the assignment was to have been for four years, but it was cut short due to multiple illnesses within our family: malaria for my dad, severe versions of childhood illnesses among the three of us older kids, and a complicated pregnancy that almost killed my mother and my youngest brother in utero. So we were sent back home to the states after just two years overseas.

From 1966 to 2010, my parents planted churches, preached, taught in church and public school, worked in blue collar and white collar jobs, raised four kids and helped nurture more grandkids, and set golden examples of lives yielded to the power of the Holy Spirit.

But their hearts remained torn for the despair and oppression of the peoples of Africa. And they knew that their work there was not yet done. They longed to bring news of the Comforter to a people “oppressed in tears.”

Then 5 years ago my mother needed attention to a tear duct in her eye. She went to a doctor…a doctor who also worked with an eye clinic in Sierra Leone…an eye clinic needing help with its administration. Mother and Dad said, “Send us.”

In 2010, at 75 and 78 years of age, Mother and Dad went to Sierra Leone. They met a preacher there named Foday Koroma. Foday had been expecting them. Well, Foday had been expecting my dad. God had sent him a vision of an elderly white man who would anoint him for ministry and place a Bible on his shoulder in an act of ordination. So in their own ordination service, my dad prayed for Foday, laid his own Bible on Foday’s shoulder, and then gave it to him as a gift.

That was all it took for Foday to follow the Holy Spirit into what can best be compared to the ministry of Paul in the New Testament. He has covered the country around the Lunsar area in Sierra Leone in the name of Jesus, baptizing literally hundreds into the Body of Christ. His faith and boundless energy have made that end of the country a different place through the power and the glory of God.

Mother and Dad returned one other time a couple of years ago and through the past five years they have collected thousands of dollars through private donations for motorbikes (big thanks to Missionary Ventures!!), building supplies for churches and schools, housing materials for leaders, Sunday school teaching supplies, and other valuable materials. They also collected dozens of sewing machines for a women’s center to enable women to learn and begin an independent career…ending their physical, emotional, and financial oppression.

On this short visit, they are introducing Foday Koroma and some other leaders to Just Hope, International, an organization that will come alongside the local pastors and teachers and help them to continue the work in the area. This will allow my parents to take a step back and release the responsibility for ongoing accountability and leadership to another capable and compassionate team.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.But how can one keep warm alone?Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)

Somewhere along the way as you’ve been reading this, your mind may have started wandering and thinking, Where is she going with this? Does she even have a point? She usually has a point, but I don’t see one here. I think she’s just rambling.

You’ve been such a patient and good reader to get this far, I’m just going to spell it out for you: We can’t go it alone. We need to be part of a “cord.” Not necessarily a marriage, but a group that works in partnership for support, encouragement, and accountability.

Verses 9-12 make it pretty clear: How can one keep warm alone? How can one give adequate defense against the invader or the oppressor or even the discourager?

After we returned from Africa in 1966, my parents were discouraged. They were beaten down. But they helped each other up. They defended each other against giving up. And it wasn’t just the two of them…the cord had a third member: the Holy Spirit renewed their passion, their fervor, and their commitment. They were not broken.

Fifty years later, they are completing a mission that began when they were only 29 and 32 years old. In the lives of many people now and many more to come, they have comforted those in tears and delivered many from the hand of the oppressor.

So see the tears.

Find the oppressed.

Join with others to become more than one.

Then allow the Holy Spirit to braid all of you into a cord so that you are never broken, discouraged, or defeated.

The world needs every one of us. May we respond to the needs…together!

Legacy

My birthday was yesterday. “Do you remember the twenty-first night of September? Love was changing the minds of pretenders while chasing the clouds away! Our hearts were ringing in the key that our souls were singing; as we danced in the night, remember how the stars stole the night away!”

If your brain isn’t automatically providing the next “ba de ya,” you are either (a) a generation too early, or (b) just missing out on some of the best R&B music by the greatest soul band ever. (Shout-out to Earth, Wind & Fire!)

I love that one of my favorite songs ever is about my birthday. And it doesn’t hurt that it hit popularity during one of my favorite times in my life when I was surrounded by some of the best friends I would ever make in this lifetime: my college days at Trevecca Nazarene College.

In just about six weeks, we’ll be having Homecoming at Trevecca Nazarene University (yes, it’s a university now) and some of us will be celebrating our 35^th Reunion.

Seriously. Thirty-five. Three. Five. I don’t even feel thirty-five years old half the time. And it’s been that many years since we graduated. You would think some of us would start acting like grown-ups, right?

Actually, I’m very proud of my fellow 1980 graduates. Several of them have gone on to become attorneys, doctors, video and film producers, teachers / professors / school administrators, pastors, and many other important and valuable professions. Many of them are parents and even grandparents now. And most of them have made an impact in one way or another on their community in large or small ways but all for the better.

So this morning, I was reading Ecclesiastes 3. You all know the chapter…the one that starts out with the “a time to” verses:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace. (vv. 2-8)

I read through these familiar verses and then I read along into the not-as-familiar rest of the chapter. The rest of chapter 3 is about what happens in our lives that we consider “good.” The writer acknowledges that we all feel happy when we do good in our lives.

But the truth is that the only real and lasting good in the world is God…and he already did all the real good that there was to be done. All that humanity has done in the world is mess everything up. We’ve taken righteousness and turned it into evil. Where there should be justice and judgment, in its place there’s nothing but wickedness (v. 16). So what are we feeling so good about?

The writer concludes with this: “So I saw that there is nothing better for a person than to enjoy their work, because that is their lot. For who can bring them to see what will happen after them?” (v. 22).

These people are enjoying their “good” because they aren’t considering the lasting effects. When they die, they won’t see what their “happiness” will have done to those who come after them. No one will bring them back and say, “Look! Do you see what you left to your children and your grandchildren and their children to clean up after you? Are they happy?”

It’s been thirty-five years since I graduated from college. When I graduated in 1980, our society had an energy crisis with waning oil supplies; racism; drug addiction; starvation in many countries in Africa; suicide among teens because of drugs, LGBT identity and family rejection, or depression; issues with gay rights; and more conflicts within and between the churches than between the Church and the rest of the world.

How far have we come? Or perhaps I should ask, how close have we stayed?

For many of us, we are not at the beginning of our adult years but we have more behind us than before us. We need to decide now what we will do in this lifetime to make a difference for the world to come.

Maybe we should look back at those earlier verses and decide that it’s a time to plant…a time to heal…a time to build…a time to weep and a time to laugh…a time to mourn and a time to dance…a time to embrace…a time to search…a time to keep and a time to throw away…a time to mend…a time to be silent and a time to speak…a time to love…a time for peace.

 

My thoughts are with you
Holding hands with your heart to see you…
Only knew talk and love,
Remember how we knew love was here to stay. (EW&F)

Hezekiah 15:12

“Everything happens for a reason.”

Also translated as, “God has a purpose for everything.”

A lovely verse. And you know where this one is found in the Bible? It’s also a Hezekiah verse. Which means . . .

IT AIN’T IN THERE!

Do things happen for a reason? Yes! Cars wreck because people are irresponsible. People die of overdoses because they get addicted to drugs. Tornadoes and floods and earthquakes hit because Planet Earth gets busy. People commit suicide because they lose hope. And the elderly die because their bodies eventually wear out in this world. And cancer happens because . . . I don’t know . . . they’re still working on that one.

But is God sitting behind the scenes, pulling divine strings to manipulate us and play us like some earthly board game with celestial purposes and heavenly rules? Is God putting his omniscient hand over ours to change the outcome of our actions to play out his own cosmic script for our lives and the world around us?

This may surprise some of you, but no, he’s not.

Just a few days ago, I wrote about the truth that life happens and sometimes it really is more than we can handle. By that same token, it doesn’t always happen for some greater purpose. Sometimes, it’s just a big ol’ mess and there’s nothing good to be said for it.

Until we put it in God’s hands.

That’s the key. For in God’s hands, our lives, our circumstances, and our messes are redeemed. God doesn’t put us into the mess of our lives, but he is able to redeem, restore, renew, and refresh everything that we put into his hands.

Three and a half years ago, I had a meeting with an amazing new friend about an exciting book project. We met in downtown Nashville to talk about a beautiful devotional book and the responsibilities I would be accepting in editing the work of three writers and adding my own writing wherever it was needed. The project would last about six months and would pay well. The meeting ran through lunch and a couple of hours. When we were done I returned to my car, elated at the prospect of what lay ahead.

When I got into my car I discovered a message on my phone from my husband, Dan. He had gone to his doctor to have a bump in his neck checked. “Lynn,” he said, “Dr. Allen says I either have lymphoma or leukemia. They’ve checked me into Centennial Hospital. Come meet me here.”

I sat in the car for a minute and thought I was going to vomit. But I knew I didn’t have time to be sick . . . I needed to get to the hospital. (That’s the only reason I didn’t throw up; I didn’t have time. I get really practical in these situations.)

Dan was admitted and would just be resting overnight, preparing for tests to begin the next day. I went home and picked up some things for us to settle in to the hospital room for a few days.

And by the way, following a stressful conversation, our 15-year-old son had come out to me the night before. As he’d entered adolescence he and I had discussed sexuality, but this was the first time he’d let me know for certain that he was gay. I’d had absolutely no problem accepting his homosexuality, but foreseeing the challenges he would face with some friends and some people in the church brought incredible anxiety and multiplied my maternal protective instincts. (If you’ve been the parent of an LGBT teen, you understand what I’m talking about.)

When I got home to pack bags for me and Dan that evening, I had to go into our room and throw all of the circumstances and my anxiety down before God’s feet. I couldn’t handle this. I couldn’t for one minute imagine that, just at the moment I was having a professional break-through, God would see fit to bring the dreaded “C” into our lives. And all of the support I needed to provide for my son . . . just as he was going to have to go stay with his grandparents? How was I . . . how would my whole family survive the next six months? Year? Two years? This was too much!

But God redeemed. God restored. Everything. Dan is alive and well and strong. Even if he had gone on to heaven to be with Jesus, we would have known that God was in control. (Dan was diagnosed with mantle cell lymphoma and had to have a bone marrow transplant. And he almost did slip on over to the other side a couple of times . . . but God let him stay here with us and we thank God for that blessing!)

Our son is now an 18-year-old Christian man in his freshman year of college. He is gay and proud and we could NOT be prouder of him! He received a 36 on his ACT and his deepest desire is to serve his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

And, by the way, the book was published! (God of Wonder, Worthy Publishers, 2012, available at www.amazon.com) My editor was patient with me and we got it done . . . beautifully!

God has shown us how kind he is by coming to save all people. He taught us to give up our wicked ways and our worldly desires and to live decent and honest lives in this world. We are filled with hope, as we wait for the glorious return of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ He gave himself to rescue us from everything that is evil and to make our hearts pure. He wanted us to be his own people and to be eager to do right. (Titus 2:11-14)

Does God have a purpose for everything?

Yes . . . to draw us closer to him and to bring glory to himself through everything in our lives.

Put it all in his hands.

Hezekiah 33:11

I’m taking a break today from my “journey” posts to address another issue…as I will do from time to time.

“God will never give you more than you can handle.”

You know where that’s found in the Bible? Hezekiah 33:11. In other words . . . NOWHERE! It’s not in there! Just read the book of Psalms. You’ll see that writer facing stuff all the time that he absolutely cannot handle.

But how many times have you been in the very depths of despair, absolutely covered up with piles of problems, wondering how in the world you’re going to get through it all . . . when some well-meaning brother or sister in the Lord comes along to promise you that God will never do this to you…certainly not more than you can handle. And that’s gonna make it all better.

Wrong.

In the first place, God doesn’t do any of this to us anyway. Life does. Or sometimes it’s a consequence of our own mistakes. But sometimes these things just happen because we live here on Planet Earth where things are just messed up. Cars hit other cars. Cancer abounds. Fire spreads quickly. Tornadoes drop down at the . . . well, at the drop of a hat. Finances fall short. And thousands and thousands of other tragedies slam into our lives and leave us stumbling around wondering what in the world we will do.

Years ago, I landed myself in an abusive marriage. The relationship went from bad to worse quickly and after a year and a half, I knew I needed to leave or I would lose my mind. So I moved into an apartment, paid the deposits from what little money I had for the rent, utilities, and water, and bought a couple of pieces of furniture I needed. I believed I would finally find peace.

The next Monday I went into work and my “eccentric” boss fired me on the spot, lying profusely for his reasons to do so. I had no choice in the moment but to take my personal items and leave, returning to my new apartment and experiencing a total meltdown.

I knew I couldn’t go back into the relationship I had finally escaped, and without a job I wouldn’t be able to keep my apartment. I believed I had followed God into a separation, although I had never thought I would be a divorced woman. I looked back and knew that I had gotten into the marriage in my own will, not God’s, so I didn’t believe it was his will for me to stay.

At that point, it was simply a matter of examining my options and putting my life in God’s hands. This was so much more than I could handle. So I picked up the phone and called my parents . . . my Godly, gracious parents. “Come home,” were their first words. (I’m weeping now, just remembering the love that overwhelmed me in those two words.)

I called my husband and told him I was going to have to leave and needed a divorce. He and I went downtown the next day and had a friend draw up a simple divorce. Then he and I loaded up a U-Haul truck with everything I owned, put my car on a trailer, and I left. He was the last person I saw in that town that day.

When I arrived in Nashville, I was welcomed with open arms by my loving parents who helped me put everything in storage while I stayed with them, paid off huge debts, and rebuilt my life enough to start back out on my own. All through the empowerment of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit.

I often imagine my life as a glove and the Holy Spirit as the hand that slips inside and makes the glove come to life. Without the Spirit, I am nothing but a limp rag, worthless and immobile. But with his empowerment and enabling, I am able to accomplish whatever I am called to do.

Life happens. God handles.

This Is Great, You Guys!

189!!!

Okay, that may be TMI, but you have to understand . . . this is the first time in the past three years that my weight has been less than 190 pounds. And that’s three pounds off in four days!

I told you yesterday that this new diet isn’t about losing weight, but hey, am I complaining? I DON’T THINK SO!

For some of you, 189 pounds is nothing to get excited about. But I’m 5’11” and I was up to 198 at one point. Do you realize that those are the same kind of numbers as half of the Tennessee Titans? You don’t know what it’s like to hear the announcers for the game calling out the stats for the team and announcing, “And here’s Bruno Johnson, 5’11” and 198 pounds!” and I’m thinking, “Hey, that’s me!!” No fun, you guys . . . no fun at all.

So 189? I’ll take it!

Meanwhile, I’m adjusting to eating differently. Shopping differently? That’s another matter!

We just moved into a condo and we live within three minutes of a super-Kroger marketplace. They sell everything from produce to shoes to pillows to baby clothes . . . no kidding! They have a wonderful health food section where I can find lots of great cereals, snacks, and other additions to my grocery cart. But once I enter the main shopping area? Yikes!! I’m bombarded with everything from an in-store Starbucks (Danger, Will Robinson!!) to ice cream to Pop-Tarts. It’s a land-mine city!

The trick, I’ve found, is to have my grocery list in front of me and to stick to it. No creative shopping allowed! There are plenty of good foods that will help keep me strong and restore me to my best health . . . I just have to seek those out and then head for the door!

So I have plenty of good foods around the house . . . apples, bananas, almonds, gluten-free crackers, almond butter, lite vanilla soy milk, stevia for my coffee and tea, oranges, sparkling water, and so forth . . . I never get hungry! And I have lots of veggies to cook up with coconut oil . . . delish!

By the way, if you want a wonderful way to cook salmon (one of the healthiest foods you can add to your diet once a week): Put some fresh rosemary in the bottom of a pan. Lay a salmon steak or slices of salmon on top. Cover with slices of onion (whatever kind is your fave), then bake at 400 degrees for 15-25 minutes, depending on the thickness of the salmon. The aroma of the rosemary and onion adds an amazing flavor to your salmon. Enjoy!

Well, I’m going to wrap this up so I can go for a walk. (Friends from TCC will enjoy that little phrase—wrap this up—and will expect someone somewhere to go to the piano.) I’m praying that on this, Day #5, I will be feeling well enough tonight to attend orchestra practice at church. It’s been months since I didn’t have fibromyalgia or a headache by 5:00 in the evening. I look forward to the first Wednesday evening that I’m able to rejoin my friends where I love to serve and fellowship in a musical act of praise to our Heavenly Father.

My prayer for all of you is that you would be doing whatever it takes to increase your ability to serve. That is what we are called to do. Jesus began his ministry on earth by calling his disciples to become fishers of men. He ended his ministry on earth by anointing all of us as his followers to go, teach, baptize, and love.

Go share the love.

A New Journey

I have begun a new journey and I invite you to join me!

It all started about three months ago when I had a very intense conversation with my brother and sister-in-law. I asked them what they thought would help me with my current health problems. You see, Brad and Cindee are incredibly healthy and know a great deal about health considering that Cindee is a nurse with a huge responsibility in a medical practice and Brad is a retired firefighter and an accomplished gardener. This is a way of life for the two of them.

They both knew that I have struggled with migraines, fibromyalgia, cholesterol problems, weight gain, fatigue, and more. In many ways, I have felt my life slip out of my hands over the last ten years. I spend three or four days a week completely shut down by pain and the rest of the time I have absolutely no energy to accomplish the many goals I have set for myself. I am able to continue my part-time editing responsibilities, but so many other challenges are waiting in the wings and have been on hold for years now as I wait for something to change for the better.

So I put it to the two people I respect most: What should I do? What will make the difference I need?

Diet. Change the food I eat and the drinks I drink. Specifically, the huge amounts of sweet tea I down every day.

Now, you have to understand, I make a fabulous sweet tea! The recipe has been passed down from my grandmother and, if you want the best sweet tea in the South, I’m your lady.

And as a true Southern gal, I loves my sweet tea! So to hear from my dear brother’s lips, “Stop drinking that sweet tea!” . . . well, it was just short of heresy. (And to be honest, at this point in the conversation, my brother and I were at such a volume of  . . . “discussion,” I think we were frightening my sister-in-law, who actually said at one point, “Brad, you’re being mean!”) So I told him I would do it. He doubted I could or would . . . he knows how much I love the stuff and how many times I’ve said I would go for a healthier lifestyle and fell short.

But he explained how much sugar was in the amount of sweet tea I was consuming every day and I began to see his point. It was disturbing. So I agreed to do it . . . half to attempt better health, half to prove that he was wrong. (It’s a big sister thing . . . if you have younger sibs you understand.)

And starting the next day—while I was still visiting in Orlando—I began drinking strictly water. Seriously. And besides my morning coffee, that’s all I’ve drunk ever since (besides a very occasional Diet Coke . . . just being honest here). And I have begun feeling better! I am not as sluggish in the mornings and have actually lost a couple of pounds. A great start!

Fast forward to last week. I was editing a book about diets for good health. (I can’t share the title yet, but I will once it’s on the market.) As I read, I was struck by the fact that all of the problems the writer was discussing related to me. My primary problem? Inflammation. That one issue is at the root of everything that complicates my life.

So how do you begin to fix inflammation? You remove the things that are inflaming your system. According to this doctor, there are three things in our diet that are typically responsible for inflammation:

Sugar

Dairy

Gluten

So when I finished editing the book, I decided, that’s it! For the next six months, I’m going to eat sugar-free, dairy-free, and gluten-free.

That was last Saturday (3 days ago).

I went to the grocery store and stocked up on fruit, vegetables, almonds, soy milk, coconut oil, gluten- and sugar-free cereal . . . foods that will help me build three meals a day plus snacks. I’ve also fixed a delicious salmon dish with rosemary and onion . . . yummm!

This was not about losing weight (although I’ve already lost two pounds). It was about getting my life back. Achieving my goals. Reclaiming my freedom to do what I want to do when I want to do it. And in the long term, it’s about drastically reducing the likelihood that I’ll wind up in ten years with diabetes, Alzheimer’s, cancer, or any number of other issues that would be coming down the pike quickly considering the number of meds that I’ve been taking.

Oh, that’s another thing. I talked to my doctor yesterday afternoon. He drew my blood to run some baseline tests. We’re going to check back in six months and see if I can get off some of the meds I’ve been taking for all of these problems. Wouldn’t that be great?

I will walk humbly all my years
    because of this anguish of my soul.
Lord, by such things people live;
    and my spirit finds life in them too.
You restored me to health
    and let me live. (Isaiah 38:15b-16)

So join me for the ride. Here we go!