Feelings

Picasso's The Old Guitarist 

“Feelings! Whoa-oa-oa, feelings! Whoa-oa-oa, feel you again in my arms!”

If you were around in the 1970s you remember that song by Morris Albert. You are also cringing, knowing you will have that song stuck in your head for at least the next hour or two.

The truth is, I never think about intense feelings without that song sneaking into my thoughts. It always starts with the first line: “Feelings, nothing more than feelings.”

“Nothing more than feelings.” And that’s what they usually are . . . nothing more than feelings. But what incredible power they may hold in our lives—if we allow them and give them that much control over our lives.

Morris Albert is bemoaning the rampant feelings that are tearing his heart out in his song, but are feelings necessarily a bad thing? Of course not! Feelings are what bring us joy, happiness, satisfaction, affection, elation, and so many other wonderful emotions as we experience the highs of life.

Feelings also perform a critical function of warning us when we are entering a dangerous situation or need to do something important. Have you ever experienced that feeling that something is wrong in a relationship or a job or a place so you knew to get out just in time? Have you ever had a feeling that someone in your life needed you or that you needed to go ahead with a project and you found out later that you were right on target? Those feelings are immensely important in life.

On the other hand, some of our feelings can get us off track in life: feelings that we aren’t appreciated enough; feelings that our friends aren’t really liking us for ourselves or making our friendship a priority; feelings that our spouses or partners don’t love us as much as they should; feelings that we are being overlooked by everybody. In each of these feelings, we are quantifying responses from others and allowing that to form and shape our “feeling” responses.

Sometimes we can’t help how we feel . . . nor should we. We should accept and acknowledge that these are our feelings. But we should choose which feelings we act upon and what path of action we follow.

We need to remember that they are feelings . . . “nothing more than feelings.”

I love watching little kids play. Kids who are around four or five. They have a knack for forming little tribes as they set up their own games and rules of play. As they get started, inevitably one of the children will step up as leader and begin telling all the others what their roles will be and what they will be doing. And just as inevitably, one of their subjects will, at some point, become disgruntled at a given direction and holler back, “You’re not the boss of me!”

Don’t allow your feelings to determine your mode of behavior. Sometimes feelings can be wonderful and satisfying, but sometimes they lie and can shut you down. When a feeling says, “They don’t love you or they’d show it more,” or, “She’s not your friend or she’d be calling you to go out to lunch at least once a month,” or anything that tempts you to walk away from the people in your life or groups that are probably good connections, look your feelings in the eye and say, “You’re nothing more than a feeling . . . and YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!”

And then, for heaven’s sake, play a happier song.

“How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
    How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
    and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
    How long will my enemy triumph over me? . . .

But I trust in your unfailing love;
    my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the Lord’s praise,
    for he has been good to me.” 

(Psalm 13:1-2, 5-6, emphasis added)