Feelings

Picasso's The Old Guitarist 

“Feelings! Whoa-oa-oa, feelings! Whoa-oa-oa, feel you again in my arms!”

If you were around in the 1970s you remember that song by Morris Albert. You are also cringing, knowing you will have that song stuck in your head for at least the next hour or two.

The truth is, I never think about intense feelings without that song sneaking into my thoughts. It always starts with the first line: “Feelings, nothing more than feelings.”

“Nothing more than feelings.” And that’s what they usually are . . . nothing more than feelings. But what incredible power they may hold in our lives—if we allow them and give them that much control over our lives.

Morris Albert is bemoaning the rampant feelings that are tearing his heart out in his song, but are feelings necessarily a bad thing? Of course not! Feelings are what bring us joy, happiness, satisfaction, affection, elation, and so many other wonderful emotions as we experience the highs of life.

Feelings also perform a critical function of warning us when we are entering a dangerous situation or need to do something important. Have you ever experienced that feeling that something is wrong in a relationship or a job or a place so you knew to get out just in time? Have you ever had a feeling that someone in your life needed you or that you needed to go ahead with a project and you found out later that you were right on target? Those feelings are immensely important in life.

On the other hand, some of our feelings can get us off track in life: feelings that we aren’t appreciated enough; feelings that our friends aren’t really liking us for ourselves or making our friendship a priority; feelings that our spouses or partners don’t love us as much as they should; feelings that we are being overlooked by everybody. In each of these feelings, we are quantifying responses from others and allowing that to form and shape our “feeling” responses.

Sometimes we can’t help how we feel . . . nor should we. We should accept and acknowledge that these are our feelings. But we should choose which feelings we act upon and what path of action we follow.

We need to remember that they are feelings . . . “nothing more than feelings.”

I love watching little kids play. Kids who are around four or five. They have a knack for forming little tribes as they set up their own games and rules of play. As they get started, inevitably one of the children will step up as leader and begin telling all the others what their roles will be and what they will be doing. And just as inevitably, one of their subjects will, at some point, become disgruntled at a given direction and holler back, “You’re not the boss of me!”

Don’t allow your feelings to determine your mode of behavior. Sometimes feelings can be wonderful and satisfying, but sometimes they lie and can shut you down. When a feeling says, “They don’t love you or they’d show it more,” or, “She’s not your friend or she’d be calling you to go out to lunch at least once a month,” or anything that tempts you to walk away from the people in your life or groups that are probably good connections, look your feelings in the eye and say, “You’re nothing more than a feeling . . . and YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!”

And then, for heaven’s sake, play a happier song.

“How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
    How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
    and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
    How long will my enemy triumph over me? . . .

But I trust in your unfailing love;
    my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the Lord’s praise,
    for he has been good to me.” 

(Psalm 13:1-2, 5-6, emphasis added)

I Hate Valentine's Day

I said it right there in the title. I hate the day that's all about love.

Well, actually, it's not about love. It's about romance. Contrived romance. And I hate it. It's all hearts and roses and cards and candlelight and it's a big fat phony. Or it seems that way to me, anyway.

Oh, I have someone to romance. I have a dear husband whom I love very much. And he loves me. He will do something special on Valentine's Day to participate in this holiday to show that he loves me because that's what's expected. I will receive it with gratitude because he is a wonderful husband and I will appreciate the considerate gesture.

But I still hate Valentine's Day.

I resent any effort by society to force the people in my life to demonstrate their affections toward me. And I especially resent any tradition that we encourage that makes anyone in our society feel inferior or insecure just because they aren't currently in a romantic relationship. There's no good reason to focus on that when people might already be going through a great deal of pain over that very thing.

Instead, how about if we have Love and Friendship Day? We could all just send cards celebrating the people in our lives whom we love: best friends; our parents or grandparents; our kids; neighbors; helpful co-workers; our siblings; classmates; pastors and leaders at church; people we know through volunteer or church work; and, of course, our spouse or partner who means the world to us.

What if, instead of having Love and Friendship Day once a year, we have it every month, like on the 1st or on the 15th? See, I could really get into something like that.

Or, how about if we just did it every day? What if we sent cards to the people we think are really wonderful all the time? Wouldn't it be great if we bought each other little reminders of how much we adore them every time we thought about how much we adore them?


I'm sure St. Valentine was a really terrific person. Actually, we don't know anything about him except when he lived and that he was martyred. Not very romantic. So I would like to just skip his day. Let's just get on with loving each other a lot.

Every day.

Running the Race in 2015

"And...they're off!!"

How many times have you heard the voice over the loudspeaker yell those words as the racers tear out from the starting line? I love to watch a race and see the runners all jump as one from their beginning stance to leap into action for the race they've been anxiously waiting for in the preceding hours.

At the beginning of the new year, do you feel a little bit of that excitement? Did you watch a ball drop to kick off the new year a few days ago? Here in Nashville, we dropped (or slowly lowered, actually) a musical note downtown to countdown to the first seconds of the new year.

Do you feel the fresh start of the new year? Do you have resolutions for change or goals for new accomplishments? 

I stopped making new year's resolutions years ago. Probably because I stopped achieving my new year's resolutions years ago! I just got tired of achieving all of those promises and ridiculous goals that I set for myself. But that doesn't stop me from taking a fresh look at my life and evaluating what things I might change or what areas I might be able to improve with a bit of discipline and effort.

We've been studying the book of 1 Corinthians in our Sunday school class at church and as it turned out, we reached the thirteenth chapter yesterday. You know...the chapter of the New Testament all about love. So we read these verses:

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but I do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so that I can remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away everything I own, and if I give over my body in order to boast, but do not have love, I receive no benefit.

Those are just the first three verses. It took us a while to get through those, because we realized that those present a pretty tall order. The first two verses, or sentences, aren't so tough; I don't think that speaking in tongues of men and angels is going to get me very far. I'm a bit surprised that being able to move mountains (MOUNTAINS!!), knowing all mysteries and all knowledge (ALL KNOWLEDGE!!!) would seriously mean I am nothing. Really??? 

But let's talk about this third verse: Are you seriously telling me that if I give absolutely everything I own to charity--to feed starving children, to save animals, or something else that really matters--and donate all my organs for harvest...that's not a benefit on its own? Doesn't just DOING THAT count as love anyway???

Then what in the world am I supposed to set as my "goals"? How am I supposed to make plans to be better if none of this stuff is going to get me anywhere? Really??? If this isn't love, WHAT IS???

Love is patient, love is kind, it is not envious. Love does not brag, it is not puffed up. It is not rude, it is not self-serving, it is not easily angered or resentful. It is not glad about injustice, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (vv. 4-7)

So I just have to do those things. I have to be patient. I have to be kind. I need to stop being envious. I'll stop bragging, stop being puffed up. I'll stop being rude, stop being self-serving. I won't get angry...

Okay, this isn't going to work. Unless...ummm...

The person who does not love does not know God, because God is love. (1 John 4:8)

God IS love. So in the new year, here is my resolution: More love. More God. In and all over everything. If I do anything, it is through and with God...love. 

For this is the way God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16)

Symbols

Whenever Americans view photographs or video images of the New York skyline taken between 1973 and 2001, they cringe at the sight of the World Trade Center towers for they all know what happened there in September of 2001. The buildings themselves were not to blame for the events, but they were the site of one of the greatest tragedies in American history. The towers themselves have come to symbolize the heartbreak of terrorism invading our beloved homeland.

The cross is likewise a symbol of a history-changing event and prompts an emotional response for many people. It is the Christian symbol of the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. The cross itself was not to blame for the death of Christ, but it was there that he suffered and died for our sins and won the final victory over the bondage of sin in our lives. When a Christian views the cross, he or she is reminded of the event that forever changed the relationship between God and humanity and the triumph that Jesus won once and for all.

 

This Easter, as we once again celebrate the resurrection of Jesus from the grave, may we remember that this conquest over sin was complete and for all time. It was not just a first step in a battle; it was the end of the war. Jesus emerged from the grave as Divine Conqueror. His triumph over sin was for all humanity, for the rest of history.

Years ago I read a book by Hannah Whitall Smith called The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life. The truth that this brilliant woman kept emphasizing is that Jesus saves me now and he completely saves me. I don’t have to wait for some eventual salvation from sin and its bonds in my life…he has saved me from the moment I ask for and receive his salvation. And that salvation is not some halfway or partial work in my life; he didn’t do all that he did on earth, on the cross, and through the gates of hell just for me to continue to slog through the muck of sin day after day. No! He came to deliver me from all of that bondage NOW!

Some of you still haven’t figured out what I’m talking about. Some of you are afraid to believe me. But some of you DO know what I’m talking about and have tears in your eyes because you know it’s true. This is not about judgment or telling you that you have to be a better person…this is about the grace of God reaching out to take your life and make it into something better that you couldn’t even dream about before.

I am praying that these words will remind you that Jesus went through everything we celebrate this week to do something amazing. The cross…that symbol of the crucifixion of Jesus…is not about death; it’s about LIFE.

I, the Lord, have called you in righteousness;

    I will take hold of your hand.

I will keep you and will make you

    to be a covenant for the people

    and a light for the Gentiles,

to open eyes that are blind,

    to free captives from prison

    and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness. (Isaiah 42:6-7)

Encourage One Another

I love the movie "Hancock." Will Smith plays the title role of an atypical, flying superhero who doesn't understand the rules of being a card-carrying, admirable, respectable hero that people will actually like. So Jason Bateman's character, Ray, takes on the task of educating him as to what that's all about.

The first step toward becoming a true superhero that Hancock needs to learn is how to tell the people around him when they have done a good thing. He literally can't say the words "Good job." So Ray works with him on just those two words..."Good." "Job." And eventually Hancock learns to incorporate the phrase into his life and begins to understand what a difference it makes in his entire world.

We don't have to be superheroes in our world, but we should all learn to be encouragers. Sometimes we dismiss that responsibility by saying it's not our particular "spiritual gift." To borrow a wonderful old Southern term...hogwash! We are all called to encourage the people around us.

In his first letter to the Thessalonians, Paul wrote, "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone" (5:11-14, emphasis added).

Notice that Paul didn't say, "If you're good at encouraging..." or "If it's your spiritual gift..." No, he was writing this to everyone in the church at Thessalonica. And he wasn't saying to just encourage the ones who were doing a great job, but also the ones who were worn out and feeling down...the "disheartened."

Look around you. Do you see anyone who could use some encouragement? Do you know someone who would benefit from a kind word or a reminder of how much they mean to you? 

Take a few moments this week to reach out to the people around you and lift up those who are needing some encouragement. Take a lesson from "Hancock" and actually tell the people around you "Good job!" when you see their efforts to do something right.

Who knows...you might just be the hero your world is needing right about now.

Share the Love

Over the coming weeks I will be posting a series of blogs on one topic: "Share the Love." I believe we are all called to do this by our Maker. It is our highest calling among our fellow humans, and I have discovered a multitude of ways to do this and to be empowered to do so. I want to share these with you.

The best way to understand the meaning and importance of sharing love with each other is to read Jesus' own words to His disciples directing them to love. Jesus' life was an absolute definition of love and His words to His disciples on His last evening with them made His command clear: "Love each other as I have loved you" (John 15:12).

Throughout John's gospel, John refers to himself as "the disciple whom Jesus loved" (for examples, see John 13:23 and 19:26). John was on the scene for some of the most significant events in Jesus' earthly life (Matthew 17:1). When Jesus hung on the cross, He gave John the responsibility of caring for Jesus' own mother, Mary (John 19:25-27). The brotherly relationship between Jesus and John must have been the very model of the bond Jesus was calling all of us to have with each other, and John's purpose in recording this account of Jesus' life and message was to communicate the nature and essence of that love.

Chapters 14 through 16 are the words Jesus spoke to His disciples, His closest friends, allies, and students, just before He was handed over to the officials for His crucifixion. Jesus knew what was coming and that He had only a few hours left to communicate His deepest thoughts, concerns, and desires to these friends. Knowing that His time among them was nearing an end, the one thought that He kept coming back to over and over again was simply, "Love one another." It must have been the most important thing He wanted them to know, the one guiding principle He wanted them to carry with them through their upcoming trials and challenges in the days, weeks, and years to come.

Jesus knew that this love--the very foundation of His connection with God the Father and the Holy Spirit (John 15:9)--would be the bond that would connect His disciples to Him and to each other, the basis upon which His church would be founded, and the truth that would unite the church as one Body. In fact, in one of his later writings, John says that our very identity as followers of Jesus Christ would be revealed in our love: "This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not a child of God; nor is anyone who does not love his brother. This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another" (1 John 3:10-11).

But Jesus did not simply give us this command to love one another and then leave it to us to figure out how to love that way. In John 17, Jesus closed His time with the disciples that night with a prayer of protection, sanctification, and empowerment; a prayer that God would grant them the same love that He had shown Jesus; a prayer that the Holy Spirit would be sent to dwell in and among them and fill them with His love. He knew we would not be able to conjure up that kind of love through our own strength or determination.

Jesus knew that the kind of love needed to change our lives and to change the world would only be possible through the grace and divine power of God Himself.