What's Next?

According to John Lennon (or Allen Saunders, depending on whom you ask), “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”

I just spent some time visiting with my parents at their house. I’m blessed to still have them around and love stopping by to have chats with them when I’m out running errands. Dan and I are planning to move into a nearby condo in several months, so I was talking with them about the many, many times we’ve moved over the last fifty-plus years. As I was driving home I was thinking about my life, and I thought that I might paraphrase the Lennon/Saunders quote to say, “Life is what happens to you while you’re waiting for the next big milepost to come along.”

That’s how I grew up. We moved an amazing number of times in my childhood (the life of a preacher’s / missionary’s family), but that never really phased me. What I was always looking forward to was the next big milestone: starting primary school in Africa; entering junior high school back in Florida; graduating high school; graduating college; starting my career; getting my first apartment; getting married; having a child. And along the way, I lived for every other first or next step or next achievement. I was always looking ahead at what came next. I was never satisfied with where I was.

Not only have I wasted time looking down the road, but I’ve spent too much emotional energy defining myself by other people’s titles or definitions of me. For example, when my family was meeting someone new, my parents would always introduce me as their “oldest” daughter or child. That registered deeply with me, making me feel a huge responsibility for the rest of the kids in our family. Not a bad thing, but definitely a label that stuck. And through the years I accepted other labels--professional, personal, societal--that defined me, some positively, some negatively.

Likewise, whenever I meet people and they ask, “What do you do?” I have always felt defined by my current job title, whatever that might be. I left my full-time teaching position when my child was three and both of Dan’s children were living at home; I decided that being a full-time mom was the most important thing that I could be doing. But suddenly, answering that question with, “I’m a full-time mom,” began eliciting the most condescending responses from the people asking the question . . . “Good for you; I’m sure you find it rewarding.” “Well, aren’t they lucky to have you there all the time.” As if all I was doing was sitting in the living room, waiting for them to ring a bell to call me to bring their toast. Seriously.

I have a friend who is a full-time mother and homemaker. I was delighted when I heard someone ask her a few years ago, “So what do you do?” She beamed as she responded heartily, “Oh, honey, I do LOTS of things!” And she does! (Don’t we all!?!)

Here’s my point: Life is too short to be waiting for something else to happen or for someone else to approve you for you to find fulfillment in life right where you are.

It’s that simple. There is nothing worth waiting for—no certificate, degree, or title—before making a difference in this world. Every one of us is valuable right this minute, and right this minute is a good time to get started with whatever it is that you want to do.

“If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples” (John 15:7-8).